Yesterday, if you follow me on Facebook, you know that I attempted to make egg salad :-). You see, my wife’s brother and his family are in from Canada. Which is fantastic, I’m glad that Ben and his kids could come down here and be around everybody. On a selfish note, that means that I’m left to my own when it comes to lunches and dinner. Yes, I admit I am helpless when it comes to making good food. I hope you paid attention to that statement, I can make food. I just struggle to make good food, key difference.
If any of you know my wife, you know how awesome she is at cooking anything and everything and making it ten times better than you would ever think possible. To say she is a phenomenal cook would be the biggest understatement in the history of the world. When she has made egg salad in the past she always talks about how easy it is. All you do is boil some eggs, you put some mustard in there with a little bit of mayonnaise, pickles and so on and so forth and boom! Awesome egg salad.
So I thought to myself that seems pretty easy I can do that. I mean how hard can it really be?
The first thing I did was attempt to boil five eggs. If you try to boil eggs I strongly suggest you put a timer on them or they may be a little runny. Yes, mistake number one, I didn’t use a timer, I just went with the flow. As I reflect on that mistake I think about how often people miss up their rest periods between sets while working out. Do you time yourself in-between sets? Sometimes you need more rest if you’re going for strength say 60 seconds to 2 minutes. If you’re a powerlifter you want up to like 5 minutes between sets. Anyway, timing your eggs and your rest period is important and it should be structured…learn from my mistake :-).
My second mistake was to not have a structured plan. I mean shoot! I was boiling eggs like 5 star chef. I got a little cocky and decided to get “creative.” So, I got some onions and add them to a bowl. Onions are great right? Onions can only make things better, it’s basically a seasoning, or so I thought.
Plus, while I was in the fridge looking for some onions I saw some jalapenos. I thought, I like spicy jalapenos, and spicy egg salad seems like a win-win. So I added some jalapenos. This makes me think of people who show up to a the gym without a plan and a purpose. They just walk around from thing to thing and copy what the previous person did. They don’t know what this “machine” does, but they will just copy the other guy who copied the guy before him. Most people won’t even venture over to the “Free-weight” area because those Silver Back Meat Heads will destroy them. Which is not true, they will only judge you and point and laugh. Which is still unpleasant.
If you try to design and implement your own program chances are you’re going to jack it up. Just like I jacked up this egg salad. The point is, you need a pro to create a customized program for you based off your needs. As an added bonus you need to have a distraction free environment that is focused on Just You. You need a pro or someone who’s experienced at the very least.
So, I get all this stuff, smash it up and honestly it looks really stinkin good. I’m starving, so I take a couple of huge bites. And the first couple of bites tasted good. Then I realized the texture of egg salad shouldn’t be crunchy and my eyes were starting to water…profusely. Not just a little bit, there were waterfalls running down both of my eyes.
Long story short, I put way too many raw onions in the egg salad. So much so that after four bites I actually got a little bit of stomach ache. Needless to say, I throw the whole stinking thing in the trash can. (Which reminds me on a whole nother note, I probably need to throw out the garbage before Beth notices the smell.) I should have stuck to the basics and followed a plan. Better yet, I should have just got a professional to make my egg salad for me :-).
Well I hope you learned from my mistakes and were able to laugh a little. If you don’t know how to cook, get out of the kitchen and have a pro assist you or teach you. Shoot, I could probably put in a good word with Beth and she could help teach you to cook :-). If you need someone to help guide you and create a personal training program for you I’m your guy.
Go be awesome and eat some professionally made egg salad :-).
KELLEN LAKE – I still can taste the onions.